What should have been a relaxing evening after umpiring the final game in the cricket club’s week of cricket has turned into a living hell.
Why? Because I eat like a pig and wallop my food down. It was a curry, and because I didn’t digest it properly, two pieces of meat became lodged in my windpipe, causing me to choke. Despite belching, retching and drinking copious amounts of fizzy drink, only one of the offending items came out.
I was in the club toilet for an age. Then one of the players kindly took me to hospital, but the idea of staying up in a hospital for a few hours for something that was self inflicted, didn’t appeal. I left, and then within a few hundred yards of the building, I retched onto a pavement. That seemed to do a temporary trick, and I caught the bus home. I thought that was the end of the matter.
Not so. Another piece of food was in my windpipe, and I’ve spent since 10.30 pm until 2 am with my head in the toilet bowl, deliberately being sick to remove this foreign object. I felt absolutely dreadful, and I seriously considered actually ringing 999 because even plain water was being ejected back again. I’ve worn out the floorboards running back and forth to the loo. The item still didn’t make any appearance.
Finally, finally, on the stroke of 2 am, I put my head into a bowl, was deliberately sick again and I felt an item in my throat, along with copious amounts of bile. All of a sudden, the blockage cleared, the retching (deliberate and accidental) has stopped, the belching has stopped and the 6 and a half hour hell has finally ended. What relief. I’ve never ever had any piece of food stuck in my windpipe, until tonight. But it’s taught me a salutary lesson, digest my food better, because next time I may end up in hospital.
What a sad end to a terrific day. Enjoyed the cricket, the company and the fine summer weather. But then this greedy idiot has to spoil it!
Time for sleep.