Hi. Yes, indeed, isolation is back. As you know, one of my welfare benefits was stopped, and the brain has gone into defence mode. Don’t want to talk to too many people, don’t want to go out, don’t want to enjoy activities that I normally enjoy.
Thoughts are swirling around my head. What do others think of my situation? Am I becoming a burden? Am I wasting taxpayers money? Do I deserve to live off the state after paying into it for 12 years? All these negative thoughts….and it’s time to avoid any kind of social contact, bar seeing my CBT counsellor and another trained counsellor. That’s the only thing that’s going to keep me afloat.
Plus sending off that thick wad of evidence. Will it do me any good? I’m just waiting for a last letter to be sent to me and then it’s a case of the waiting game.
The small consolation is that today is a nice, clear winter day and I had a blood test to attend at a local hospital. So that got me out of the flat for a few hours. But I must confess to feeling somewhat anxious and jittery on one of the bus journeys home. This event which has hit me hard will continue to have a knock on effect for a good while. Any modicum of well being and self respect has gone for the time being.
So that’s the story. Not great at all. 😥