I popped into SANE, the mental health charity I volunteer for, to discuss upcoming shifts and what happened to me at the Christmas party on the 17th.
If you recall, I had a meltdown and left well before the end. There was plenty of concern and good wishes that I would be ok. For the following 24-36 hours, I wasn’t ok. Trying to rationalise what happened would take up a lot of time, it was a moment when my brain fried and maybe it was the time of year and some personal issues that crystallised in one awful moment.
Today’s talk with my line manager was very reassuring. I take the view that if SANE didn’t think much of me or value my contribution, they wouldn’t have bothered to stay in touch or to find out how I was. They have superb support structures for all their staff and I feel flattered and humbled that they do value me.
I’m going to make a return in ten days time, and I can’t wait to get back to doing what I do at SANE. The staff have noticed that I haven’t been my normal self when I’ve gone in, but as I said I do have some issues. In other words, life is a little unsettled at the moment. I’m not a very good actor so I don’t hide my feelings very well. But to receive that support is very touching and heartwarming, and that support gives me strength.
In fact, in most of the mental health voluntary work I undertake, I receive a lot of support. And of course, there is plenty of support in the cricket world, from friends and family too. It keeps me afloat. Without it I would struggle, without question.
In this uncertain and volatile world, it’s nice to know that people do look out for others.