Negative Vibes….

Last night, I went for a meal to say goodbye to a couple of staff at SANE, the mental health charity I volunteer for. They were interns on a six month placement and they’re moving onto pastures new.

I’m still rather all over the place mentally, it must be said. Still struggling to come to terms with the bad news I received last week. Anyone would think that someone who has been on a week long cricket tour and enjoying the Portuguese sunshine would be back and in good spirits. Only the good feeling hasn’t lasted.

Last night, I showed up and kept largely quiet. I wasn’t my “sociable” self, according to my line manager who came along. I’m not a great social gathering lover to be perfectly honest, so everything that was seen and heard last night from me is largely relative to the overall picture.

I did eat, drink a glass of wine, but though I was in the room physically, mentally I wasn’t. Again, this is something the line manager picked up on. I wasn’t really with it at all. I said to the line manager I would be in tomorrow (Wednesday) and would be in touch then.

However…..this morning and for most of today I have felt quite ghastly. There was no way I was going to volunteer or do anything else worthwhile today. Also, my Monday night at umpires course didn’t provide me with much solace. All in all, the last week hasn’t been joyful. I’ve stayed in all day.

Much to my surprise, my line manager at SANE rang me this evening to have a chat and offer his support for the issues I’m having. I feel quite humbled that he should ring me and have a chat about the last week. I can honestly tell you that many of the full time jobs I used to have wouldn’t have had such caring staff. I would have been told to “get on with things and not feel sorry”. Times they are a changing.

A ex school friend of mine is popping over on Friday for some lunch and a chat. I hope I’m in a slightly better frame of mind and I’m in need of a laugh and some support. Not been a great week but I need to dip into my well being toolkit to try and improve things. Friday might well be the start. Here’s hoping.

There are some delightful people out there….if you look hard enough.

A.S.D Brooks

Author: allenbrooks44

44 year old adult living with Autism...