Mind still in Portugal…

Afternoon. If I told you that yesterday and part of today have been unbelievably crap days, you wouldn’t believe me. You would think that I would be in good fettle after a week away in sunnier climes. Wrong, very wrong.

It’s been fairly quiet with the neighbours downstairs until yesterday morning when another argument exploded. I sat upstairs, shaking with fright. I heard the usual, bad language, lots of shouting and glass smashing. Great. Just what I need.

I spent most of yesterday in a state of shock. As you know, I hate any sort of arguments and confrontation. World’s biggest pacifist. I suppose that’s not a bad thing.

So yesterday evening it was the Umpires Association AGM, and I was in the hot seat. I managed to get through the 30 minutes of the meeting (I don’t mess about), and I don’t know how really. Just instinct. Had a bit of a laugh and tried to take my mind off the events of the morning. Still, my mind was all over the place, thinking very intrusive and clearly untruthful thoughts about those friends and colleagues nearest and dearest to me. Not good. Was in a dark place at odd intervals on Monday.

Onto today, and the mind was in shutdown mode. Until I went into SANE, the mental health charity I volunteer at. The happy smiling faces and cheery nature of the staff took me back to last week in Portugal. How I wish I was still there…..

Got through the tasks set and then got into a tremendous muddle emailing one of the cricketing tour party. I was sending him the scorecards and got very confused. That will teach me to actually read the emails he sent me. A few phone calls and emails later and all was well. My head was spinning though, like one of those spinning tops from childhood.

Now, I’m outside City Hall for a monthly mental health meeting. Just trying to relax and calm down from a fraught couple of days. My mind is 800 miles away and needs to return to home base, hence the confusion and general dark thoughts. Not a good combo.

That’s it. Just an update on things. Hope it’s quiet when I return home.

A.S.D Brooks

Author: allenbrooks44

44 year old adult living with Autism...