Returning to 2010 to help me process the momentous events of that year…..
June 2010. Mum had passed on. Was back home and the house was a little eerie and empty. Wasn’t enjoying life and and had various episodes of depression and suicidal ideations. This particular week in 2010 saw me feeling quite low. But I had to wash some clothes, as I had few clean ones to put on.
Only one problem with that. The washing machine was broken. The door wouldn’t close, and having virtually no money at all, it couldn’t be fixed. So I had to scrape together some coins so I could wash the clothes at the local laundrette.
As I remember, I was lugging a big bag of clothes to the laundrette on a hot day. I was in somewhat of a daze but determined to get this done. I put the clothes in the machine, inserted the coins and sat there. I just sat there, wondering how the bottom had fallen out of my world. Just sat there watching the clothes spinning, as I contemplated the events of the previous few weeks.
Then I took the clothes, dumped them back in a bag and dried them at home. At least it was something. But a look at a crumpled pair of trousers summed up how things were. In need of a new broom sweeps clean. But it wasn’t to happen, certainly not that year.
I’m still here….still surviving. And I have my own washing machine and clean clothes. Eight years…….still picking up the pieces….