England are in the semi finals…and I don’t give a shit

Apologies for the ending to the title, but that pretty much sums up this particular Saturday. A day when the England football team have reached their first World Cup semi final since 1990, a day when I should be rejoicing and feeling happy.But I cannot bring myself to feel good at all. A feeling of numbness and disinterest has taken over every fibre of my being today. Even if it were the final of the World Cup today, I still wouldn’t be able to bring myself to rejoice in a moment of national triumph.Just sitting here, staring vacantly into space. Been trying to watch some YouTube sporting videos, but with little interest or excitement. Can’t understand why this has happened today. I’ve negotiated a tricky month of the year and all was seeming to be good from my point of view. But crash!!! I’ve even been asleep on one of the hottest days of the year. During that sleep, I dreamt about being on a plane and escaping from everything. My brain has gone walkabout today and it’s hard to fathom why.So I apologise for not being in a joyous mood of national celebration. Having a mental illness means that enjoyment is temporarily suspended. I hope that tomorrow is a better day. Hoping, hoping. A.S.D Brooks

Author: allenbrooks44

44 year old adult living with Autism...