Good day yesterday. Started off with this:-
An idyllic summer’s day so it was time to top up the tan watching some cricket. I’m certainly feeling the effects of sunburn today as my shoulders are testifying. Achy and painful. My fault.
Then it was a welcome return to my local cricket club as they had a curry night there. I’ve taken another of my illness induced absences as I’ve been away from the club for a year.
And true to form, I was greeted by a very warm welcome from the regulars there. They were concerned about what has been going on and seemed interested in what I’ve been up to recently, especially around mental health presentations and the like. Warm, convivial atmosphere and it was good to be back amongst some great people.
Why do I stay away? Fear, worry, paranoia. They crop up on a regular basis. “What are people saying?”, “Why are they talking about me?” being two such what if scenarios that dominate my thoughts when I’m not so good. The personnel is little changed at the club, so what have I got to be worried about? My umpiring colleague and mate invited me there yesterday and I don’t regret it for one moment.
Can I hold on to those positive thoughts and return more regularly? Time will tell, but yesterday was a good base to work from. Social anxiety leads to social isolation. Want to be free from those shackles…..