It’s Thursday, which means Peer Support group, or in my case, feelings of dread and panic.
I have hit the wall with the group. I’m in the middle of a long absence from Thursdays and whether I’m running the group or not, that’s irrelevant. For example, today I have feelings of tiredness with the added complication of panic. Not good. I just cannot face going in and sitting there, it’s as simple as that.
Why? My brain has put the shutters up on a Thursday, even though most of the people there are well known to me. How comes I can perform a presentation on Monday so well and then crack up today? Because the two things are unrelated. Peer Support group isn’t about performing a presentation, it’s about sitting there and listening and learning about how the members of the group are doing.
I’m trying to explain the best I can, but if it doesn’t make any sense, then join the club, it certainly makes no sense to me either. I just don’t think I’m suitable for the group currently, either as a facilitator or attendee. The very thought of a Thursday sends the mind into a whirl that is hard to stop. Even while typing now, I feel physically sick. Not been a good day so far. It can only get better from here.